tap

tap tap...

an emotional progression

i am worried...
becos the more time i spend with him...
the more that my musical side is calling me...

i dreamt...
i dreamt of being a full time musician....

i dreamt...
i dreamt of an evironment where effort is put to create, and not to undermind nor for destruction...

i dreamt...
i dreamt of concerts and recitals.... with music that touches the heart of others...

and i am
happy. =)

thus now

i am worried...

for once the heart starts to dream...
there's no gaurentee when it will settle...

the calling called when i finished my form 5...
it called again when i finished my form 6...
it called again when i finished my first degree...

now, at hte crucial moment of my second degree....
it called earlier than expected...
stronger than expected...
more tender than expected...

reality, keep me grounded!
be the firm ground for my heart to land!
allow me see, that this calling is boost by another reason!
allow me to belive that i dont have enough talent!
allow me to be realistic!
rob me off my dreaming heart!
allow me to be wat i wish not to be!

i m sad!
i m mad!
i m in love!
yet a love that cannot be!
i dont want to hope!
i dont want to dream!
yet i wish to hope!
and i wish to dream!

i am contracdicting!
and i am not productive!
i am nothing!
yet i want to be everything!


i just need someone... someone that will be there.... someone that i can be there for....
i am in need?
haha.... life is strange indeed...
i am in need...
and i am worried.

1213

from the ashes, a phoenix shall rise...

the year in a nut? hazel nut

it's december... and by the end of this year, i will do a series of posts to document all the things i have learnt.. espescially things i tot i "knew" until i experienced first hand the aspects that i never thought of...

it's been a tremendous learning curve for me, though i am 27, sometimes i feel like i'm 17. so new so innocent and so many things so sincere.

let's start with people

i could safely say, coming back here earlier this year was one of the best things that happened to me, cos it helped me to comfortably, painlessly detached myself from V.

being in the same rainbow room in NotrohWoods with Lex is another experience that's priceless, how often in life we get roomates that can click, can go crazy, can share and can live with each other every day.

we practically see each other more than our own family, come to think of it... he seldom goes back home and i am from over the east (read: only chinese new year go back) and we can tolerate and respect each other and not driving each other up the wall ala American NExt Top Model candidates (hold on there, we ARE qualified in case u are wondering, and THAT makes it more precious)... is such a nice thing.

another one definately worth mentioning is Alpha.... alpha oh alpha... the chap who will ALWAYS have a special spot in my heart...

moving on the year... blogger frens such as Pussycat Paul, Elven Legs, Ganas Bunny and not forgetting the Young Young Defiant... have come to color and enrich the pink life of mine... intelectually stimulating (visually too :p) n just nice nice nice feeling bout these people... wil call them the feel good bunch.

of cos in KL, CnA and Dot are like the most precious gift one could gain.... sincere, crazy and fun! living with/around them in kl is NEVER a bored day... wat's best is i dont even need to do the talking :p it's always full of updates and i APPRECIATES it to the core! ANDDDDDDD it comes with a lot more money-cant-buy Perks (*wink) and gang, which are like the first female fren who KNOWS.

then there's Boy De Pool... who manage to conquer my heart, only to throw it out into the drain once he has gotten it...

This year also marks progress in the connection with my ex-es, especially ex no. 3. Ex no. 3 is seldom mentioned cos he's a lil anal bout it.... hmmm that doesnt sound right.. let's just say, after we been through the BIGGEST EVER challange in our relationship THEN only he declare give up. well... probably a dedication post sometime in near future...

Kari Kapitan with Chicken Balls (replacing chicken breasts)

cooking before going to kl

Sayur Masak Santan Nyonya

minced shallots, garlic, dried prawns, and belacan, stir fry till fragrant
add in coconut milk
stir till coconut milk berlemak


add in sayur and stir, for not more than 2 minutes
switch off fire, add sliced tomato, and serve...


bubur rempah
stir fry garlic, with cinammon and star anise
mix the oil along wiht the water and rice
cook.
stir from time to time to avoid the base terbakar(is use rice cooker the no need la)

foodnote 26 nov cont

26 Nov

I gave Rahmuan Rahsia another chance today. ordered 3 cakes:

1. tiramisu
2. choc mud
3. new york cheese

Verdict:
one bite into the tiramisu i instantly regretted. :s bad bad bad
choc mud was ok, things starting to look bringther, though the tira is a lil filling.
last but not least, the NEW YORK CHEESE is the winner, for RM 5.50, it's value for money in terms of taste and portion. a lil filling considering 2 other cakes were in before hand, but tasty non-the-less.

so, there might still be hope for Rahmuan Rahsia after all...

for midnight supper: mee jawa...

- rebus the sweet potatoe, skin and smash into mud with fork
- rebus the chicken, with ginger and floss the meat into strips
- hard boiled eggs, and half it

- big fat yellow mee, wash thoroughly and dip in boiling water with a pinch of salt.

- stir fry garlic, onions, premium crushed dried prawns till aromatic, then add coconut milk, stir
- add curry powder with water and stir...
- add mashed sweet potatoe and DONT STOP STIRRING
- add salt and pepper to taste
walla:

serve by topping big fat yellow mee with strips of chicken and halves eggs, then pour the gravy ontop, add freshly chopped chillies and squeeze some lime on it, stir and makan.


and in a blink of an eye............


mighty delicious i tell ya! especially at 1.15 am in the morning.... can sleep with a warm and full belly ;)

food note 25 and 26 nov 06

25 nov

today is the first attempt in creating the authentic sarawak laksa.
laksa paste imported from kuching, though not the best brand, still it's ok

- fresh prawns and chicken, rebus for ~30 mins, then take the chicken and prawns out, and thickens the broth till 75% of the original volume.
- floss the chicken meat into strips.
- 2 packs of paste with 400ml santan + the thickened brooth.
- bring to boil and thickens. strained the spices away.
- scrambled eggs, cut into strips, de-shell the prawns
- soften the bee hoon.
- when all is done, top the beehoon with striped eggs, chicken and prawns, then add the soup.
- serve with belacan and limau.

verditc: not enough prawn and maybe could add a little more santan.
not bad at all for a first attempt.